Allow yourself to be average

How much better could you perform if you allowed yourself to be average?  

That might seem counterintuitive, but think about it: what happens when you feel a need to be perfect – perfectly creative, perfectly original, even perfectly turned out?

The notion that you have to do something perfectly might mean you don’t try it at all. Or you put yourself under ridiculous amounts of stress. It can mean staying silent, or trying so hard to be special that you come across as stilted or even fake. You  might refuse to do something in a new way because that’s not ‘right’. What good does this bring?  

This notion stood out for me in a book by Matt Abrahms, “Think faster, Talk Smarter”. He talks about embracing mediocrity. For me, various insights and realisations often slowly accumulate and then some small thing suddenly pushes me forward. This did.

I lived most of my life with a need to always have an opinion, to have the answer and to be right. This has slowly changed and training as a coach and locating an inner confidence definitely changed it. I am much more of a listener who asks questions.  Recently I’ve been pondering this, though. I’ve often ended up taking just a bit too much of a back seat. I’ve wondered why I don’t permit myself to take space. It has dawned on me that some of it is a different way of not allowing mistakes. I’m not embracing mediocrity.

The point is – in areas of my life where, in the past, I’ve allowed myself to be mediocre, such as sport and exercise, I am doing better, being more joyful with it and trying more things out. I’m just allowing myself to be myself.

I don’t need the pressure and worry about this having to be ‘just right’. It can just be. So it’s time to spread that across more areas of my life.

Of course, when needed, we prepare. At work, in interviews or presentations, we do the work. But we are better off not believing we have to do it perfectly. Each of us always have all our accumulated experience with us. By allowing average, we can take the pressure off, relax and perform better. What everyone around us will connect to and relate to is who we really are – both flawed and brilliant, but most of all, simply real.