An unwelcome return of rumination

Bad night's sleep? A little under the weather? Worried? What do you notice happening with you? 

Yesterday saw the unwelcome return of a whole string of old thoughts that made me feel small and concerned about things. They insisted on staying put. It was harder than usual to deploy my tools to clear them out. Trickier than normal to get back to feeling confident and going about my day that way. I was feeling overwhelmed by what I needed to get done and didn't have much patience. 

A few years ago, this would easily have resulted in a cycle of self-accusations - why can't I do this? I will never get this sorted out! Would this fuel even more not-so-useful habits and behaviours kicking in? Snappiness and irritation? Yes. 

What has changed and helps me stop that cycle? Awareness. For various reasons I struggled to get to sleep the night before. Finally getting some shut-eye after 2.30am, the sleep I did get was also less than restful. When I'm not fully rested, there's stress the next day. It makes everything more challenging.

Being aware of that impact makes all the difference. I can be kinder to myself instead of getting into a vicious spiral. I'm better with others because I'm more mindful that I'm not even half of my 'best'. It's one of many instances when stopping to halt the autopilot really helps. 

Not having slept well is, of course, a fairly obvious reason for a less-than-perfect day. Sometimes the stressors creating tension and catapulting us off to short-fuse and struggle-land are far less overt. It might be something you need to uncover - or, for the moment, take a pause and simply notice what's going on. Then choose to be kind and patient with yourself instead of judging and making it worse.

When things are feeling a bit out of sorts - what do you notice?