Exit the trap of mulling yesterday and tomorrow

“If only I had done this differently yesterday...”

“What if it doesn’t work out tomorrow?” 

In the midst of a long and frustrating to-do list involving a lot of uncertainty, it has been easy for me to slip into ruminations about what I could have done or worries about what will happen next. It brings tension to my chest and tunnel vision to my mind. I feel neither competent nor confident in these moments. The focus on past and future makes it harder to productively move forward. 

But I can’t change what has already happened – and even if I could, I have no idea whether a different action would have yielded a better outcome. In the midst of should-haves, it’s easy to forget that someone or something else would still have been there to react to my actions. I have no idea what that would have looked like. 

Neither can I predict the future. The mounting tension of worry about what may or may not come to pass eats away at the effort to create the best foundation to meet what comes next. 

What’s missing is the unquestionable power of being right here, right now. To accept that in this moment, this is the situation. To consider what learnings to draw from the past instead of engaging in internal self-flagellation that goes nowhere. To simply do what right now seems best, without imagining I know what will happen tomorrow. It sounds so rational and simple, doesn’t it? But of course it’s not that easy! 

The should-haves and worries don’t serve me. It has taken practice to accept them for what they are and nip them in the bud (after sometimes allowing them to fester for too long!) I aim to make space between me and my thoughts, using different tools depending on the moment – it can be breathwork, exercise or simply altering where I am in the room and look at things differently. 

How do unhelpful thoughts about the past and present hinder you? How do you go about tackling them?