How are your mindreading and fortune-telling skills these days?

You might counter that you don’t do that sort of thing. So, when did you last (with utmost certainty) think: “I know what she’s going to say” about your colleague, or say to your partner “I know what you think”. You might have added a judgemental tone for full effect, in your head or out loud? 

Most of us might not think we engage in mindreading and fortune telling, but all of us do to some extent. Interpretation is the way of the brain. It can be very useful. In these cases, though, it’s not. 

True, you might know someone well and your prophesy might be right. Often, though, it’s not. If you continue thinking you’re right, your misinterpretation will fester and grow. If you’ve said it out loud, you’ve left the other person with the unenviable task of having to defend themselves against a hypothetical idea of what they may say, think or want. How do you react when someone says these things to you? 

Both erroneous internal interpretations and disagreements based on assumptions-out-in-the-open zap energy that could be better used elsewhere. Think about it: what's the cost of that unnecessary stress? 

There’s another way: Notice your mindreading, pause for a moment and humbly admit that you can’t know. Then set about getting curious about what’s actually going on for the other person. What changes would this bring?